Even though she wants nothing to do with me, i trust God, that he will bring her back to me...Thinking of capatablity with other girls, every time the door has been shut i am greatful, though...It keeps my focus on Anna, its so hard to wait for some one who dosn't even appear to want you any more, yet nothing else makes sence...Every other girl, upon deeper discovery i find is not as compatible as i thought, That has to mean that im being shapped and pruned to be flawless (if thats possible at all) for her, yes? Praise be to him for shutting the doors and keeping my focus on only one girl, I promised her i would wait, and although i have yet to break that promise all thoughts of doing so are cut off, simply because the doors are closed. Michelle and I are to good'a friends to risk ruining it, Nicole isn't the Old nicole (which yes, makes a differance) it may have only been two options kept open...But now i know for sure they are closed, leaving only a promise left. If you pray, pray that i keep my eyes where they need to be, that everything will turn out okay...people think im crazy for still being attatched to a girl who brkoe up with me approx. Six months ago.
idc, not like i have some one else to wait for, not like she isn't worth it...My mind is just a bussle of thoughts and romantic songs, anti-romantic songs, broken heart songs, songs that make me think of her, i would never beable to type them all out. I thought i felt this strongly about another girl...I dont know what it is, but this time is so different. Yet i am so unworthy of such an Amazing girl as her...She is so intelligant, so graceful, so well spoken and educated.
Its oneo f those princess and peasant storys, by all reasons in those storys, the princess falls for the peaseant boy because he's' down to earth and isn't used to royalty or their mannerisms, but they are so totally right for each other that all obsticles are no mach for them, and he rises to the tasks ahead and slays dragons eeven though hes never weilded a weapon before...just to save her.
Compared to her, i am so small and unworthy. I suck at math, i doubt i even have the education i should at this point in highschool...I wonder why I dont rise to meet challanges, sh's well worth it but. I feel like i dont know how to be great, to be as near perfect for only her...I just want to run away and take an album full of her pictures with me, so i could always dream...never forget her...but never trouble her with having to deal with me...i guess...to sum it all up i dont feel worthy of some one like her, and i know i have so much to work on and improve and change even, before thtat will ever change itself. "when i saw that i was running out of rope, i did not panic, for anticipating the possibility of loosing her, i tied a knot at the end of the rope', so that even though i was at the end of my rope, I would never let go.